Everyone who knows us knows that we love Spanx.  LOVE!  I have no delusions that I look super thin or hungry while wearing my Spanx BUT I do know that it sort of smooths things out and keeps it from jiggling around (and some days that is a powerful feeling).

Now for those of you that have never enjoyed a Spanx…let me fill you in.  They are a truly wonderful wonderful thing BUT they can be a little difficult to get ummm situated.  The one I most commonly wear starts just above the knee and goes all the way up to my bra.

The brilliance of this particular Spanx is the pee hole.  There is actually an open gusseted crotch so that you do not have to pull the Spanx down to pee.  Genius.  This is especially important if, like me, you usually have to find someone to pull the  Spanx up to where it should be (thanks Sarah!) in the back. (Hello, I do not have go go gadget arms!)

If you shop through the Spanx website…it would seem that they have thought of everything.  They have panties, shapers, bras, slips, hosiery and now bathing suits.  BUT I realized today that Spanx has missed the boat!  The people who have single handedly revolutionized the bodyshaping word forgot about MEN!

Now this could be for several reasons.  I have a few theories of you are interested…

Oh good…you are!

1. Men don’t care.

2. The few gay men that might care…don’t need it.

3.  MEN have AMAZING self esteem.  I blame network television.  How many shows can you think of where the pudgy husband is married to the hot wife?  EXACTLY!  Men can have a big ol’ gut hanging out and yet they still look in the mirror and think “Uh huh … I still got it!”  they even say things like “This is the gas tank for my love machine.”   Ladies…if we could bottle this delusion…WE WOULD BE RICH!

But just in case I am wrong…I give you RIPT !

RIPT is the revolutionary torso-enhancing undershirt!

WHAT IS RIPT

Have Your ‘Six Pack’ and Drink it Too!

RIPT FUSION is a classic men’s undershirt injected with steroids. Immediately, he will look and feel better in all of his clothes with a heightened sense of confidence.

The torso, the trunk, the gut – whatever. It’s the one part of a guy’s body that’s hard to keep tight and lean. That’s why there’s RIPT FUSION: a body-sculpting undershirt designed to support a man’s core, shave inches off his belly and enhance his posture.

If you need to take a minute to absorb that…go ahead.  I’ll wait.

AND AND AND….my favorite part… THEY GIVE INSTRUCTIONS!

How to put shirt on:	Pull on all the way to your underarm, then pull over your head.
How to take shirt off:	Pull shirt up to your underarm, then grab one side and pull all the way over your head.

I have NEVER gotten instruction with my Spanx.  And really I am not sure why they even bother…men don’t read instructions!

So what do you think?  DO you think that RIPT is going to do for men what Spanx has done for women?  DO you think men give a rats ass?  I don’t.

Yesterday I discovered something that makes my heart all aflutter!

Dedicated fans of SFS know that we love shiny things and fake hair… BUT another true love around here is SPANX! I know, right?  I think It was best said in Steel Magnolias:

Truvy: Well, these thighs haven’t gone out of the house without lycra on them sice I was 14.
Clairee: You were brought up right.

So low and behold, yesterday I was checking out the Spanx website only to discover that they are now making BATHING SUITS! (cue the chorus of ANGELS singing) The masters of smoothing it out and sucking it in are making BATHING SUITS!  AND AND they are pretty freaking cute!  (I happen to love the black and white one shoulder number.)

I was SO SO EXCITED!

Of course there is always a catch…. this time it is the price.  They are about $200.  I don’t know.  That seems extreme.  I have been know to pay $100 for a good bathing suit but $200 makes my heart hurt.  Then to add insult to injury…you can only buy them online.  SO you can’t even try them on before you shell out the cash.  Hmmm…

What do you think?

Southern Fried Snark Episode 5

Show Notes:

• Retraction – Hank Hill was not on Beavis and Butthead. He WAS based on the character of Mr. Anderson that was the neighbor on B & B.
• Katharine McPhee’s hair
• Sharks – Link
• Ex Boyfriend Jewelry – Link
• Bristol and Levi -Link
• Kourtney Kardashian didn’t lose 10 lbs in 10 days.. NOT OK, OK! – Link
• White Lies on dating sites – Link
• Gary Coleman arrested for domestic violence – Link
• Andy Dick arrested – Link
• Dooce scores an HGTV show! Lucky bitch. Link
• Julia Louis-Dreyfus is a Spanx girl and I love her for it. Link