This story throws me on several levels.
1. I have such mixed emotions about hoping that she actually DOES have MS. I wouldn’t wish an illness on anyone but OMG I hope she isn’t making this shit up.
2. Why was it a secret? She hasn’t seemed to address that question.
3. 17 years of MS and even her best friend didn’t know? It just seems odd.
4. The picture behind her in the video is slightly crooked.
Oh lord, I took a breather and didn’t read any trashy magazines for a week and missed ALL kinds of Spencer and Heidi news.
I know, I know. It was foolish of me to think that just because they’d filed for divorce we wouldn’t have to deal with them anymore.
But, as you may know, Heidi is having her breast implants removed-proving that perhaps there IS a slight chance she has an almost undetectable bit of common sense floating around somewhere.
Which is fortunate because she keeps “accidentally” popping out of bikini tops-when there happen to be photogs around.
I get it, if I was famous for/had paid that much for something I’d be showing them to everyone also.
ALSO, Spencer got arrested leaving Costa Rica for illegal firearms, possession and something else.
Ummm, did anyone else see Brokedown Palace? Shouldn’t he be rotting in a cell somewhere in a dress and flip flops while bathing in other people’s poo and stuff? I thought guns and drugs in OTHER countries was a really big deal.
Oh wait, I get it. Costa Rica didn’t want to put up with him either. Well played CR, well played.
So most recently they were seen at an Avon Breast Cancer walk-posing for the cameras, I mean uh, raising money for a good cause, by walking together. I think it’s wrong for her to parade her ginormous breasteses in front of people in that situation.
Anybody called Vegas to check the odds on them getting back together, I mean not really having broke up?
On a technical note: We won’t be on the next couple weeks as Gellman is renovating our studio. It will be snazzier which means we will probably look worse and more high definition than ever. I think he’s spent SO much time with the Real Housewives that he’s about to make a porn movie starring Danielle and Lesbian Superstar Lori Do I really need a last name since I preface it with lesbian superstar Michaels?
Anyways, I hope he disinfects our set frequently.
So the Real Housewives of New Jersey had their finale last night and I? Was underwhelmed.
As you know, I am BEYOND excited that Danielle will not be back. She actually ruined the show for me as she was too REAL crazy to watch-it was uncomfortable.
I am beyond pleased that we will no longer have to endure her stellar grammar such as those woman and ain’t nobodies. Hooray!
She did, however, actually say one thing I AGREED with last night. Wait for it and mentally prepare. She said something directed to Teresa about how when her girls were that age they were in lace and crinoline and the dog wore leopard print. Wow. At one point, if it’s true, D may have had like a small percentage of sense.
I was totally confused when they were all sitting at dinner talking about how to get rid of Danielle. I expected people to break out concrete or machine guns…not for Caroline to invite her to tea. I AT LEAST was waiting for a “yeah…we got a problem…take care of it…no evidence” phone call.
I realize that’s not legal but I am NOT buying that these “entrepreneurs” in Jersey don’t have people to “handle” people. (If you do and you’re reading this, please come to Alabama. I will give you sweet tea and we can discuss my list.)
I am DYING to watch the reunion show and see what everyone has to say.
What did you guys think?
(Oh, we won’t be on tonight. Someone “handled” Gellman and he’s trapped in the ATL, with the Real Housewives from there, allegedly, and we don’t want to cough up the ransom fee.)
So NEXT WEEK starts our 15 minute episodes in our further quest to take over the internets-we’ll be everywhere.
So it would appear that Heidi’s surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan, was murdered!
No, he was not killed by Heidi’s breasts in an unfortunate lap dancing/smothering situation.
The cause of his demise was…twitter.
Apparently the doctor was driving down the Pacific Coast Highway with his pet Heidi, I mean his border collie, and he was tweeting about how much his dog was enjoying the beautiful day…
I seriously feel kind of bad even talking about this but it’s just so damn ridiculous.
Apparently, tweeting about his dog and her love of pina coladas, driving with the top down and making love in the dunes caused him to lose control of his car and wreck.
He drove off a cliff and while he was killed, sadly, his dog did make it. She was thrown from the car and survived.
It is yet unknown if she ran off into the sunset while singing a chorus of Free at Last.
Heidi is beside herself, I mean, mainly cause the size of her boobs actually causes her to sit BESIDE herself in another seat but she would probably be sobbing…if she could anymore. I don’t think plastic cries.
So, AGAIN. WHY do famous people drive? When I become wealthy, first thing I am getting is a DRIVER. Like Kim G. Except I won’t wear unattractive underwear and dance on stripper poles in front of ex-cons.
And? Did he not watch the movie Seven Pounds? Totally cured me of texting and driving. For reals.
So the biggest freak out EVER is actually not on-screen this season with the Jersey Housewives.
Although, personally I’m still emotionally scarred from Danielle and the other old “ladies” dancing in a strip bar for a bunch of convicts. Anyone else find this horribly inappropriate? Just me?
ANYHOO-if you’d like to buy a memoir of the Housewives, you can. And no, I’m not talking about bits of Danielle’s scalp/weave though I am shocked they haven’t turned up on ebay yet.
Teresa is having to sell the contents of her house. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE 11 MILLIONDOLLARS IN DEBT. I honestly can’t even fathom how that can happen. The economy must truly be in the toilet if MOBSTERS, ahem entrepreneurs, are even suffering.
What’s up for grabs? Well, Gia is NOT on the auction block. As the most profitable one of the bunch, Mamma T is holding on to her little kiddy super model (blech). But the other 3? Totally up for grabs. I kid, I kind. I think?
Suit of armor? Jet boat? Decorative urn? Pool table? Snow plow? All this and MUCH MORE can be yours on August 29 for the low low price of $19.99 and only $6.95 in shipping and handling fees. Oh wait, I’m getting confused…The Housewives AREN’T an infomercial despite all of them using the show to sell books and “hit” songs. HOW do these biatches have a book deal and I don’t?
So you heard it hear, despite accosting, Danielle “Is Bitch better?” Staub that she and Joe were NOT banrupt, it would seem they, errr…are.
TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT-Someone is getting an iPad. Tune in at 9 pm central on www.southernfriedsnark.com and get your tweets and posts out there while you can!
So Liho, prior to her unfortunate incarceration, was exploring her, ummm…artistic side. Now, please don’t be confused and think I mean porn. I don’t think she’s there-yet.
But, as we learned the other night, if Bridget the Midget can have a successful porn career, what’s to stop Liho? She DID have dinner with ole’ Samantha a few days before she was locked up. Not that the two are related…allegedly.
Anyhoo-Liho has decided to take up painting. If I were her-I would quit trying. It has GOT to be a bummer to f up everything you do. Acting, designing, singing, consulting, escorting a man to an event for money- all now in the “not a win” category.
So she’s painting and would like to sell her snatch, I mean her work. But there’s a hold up-and not just because she’s currently in the big house. It seems little Liho is having difficulty (snicker, with life in general?) perfecting the perfect paint color for her…tan. (You totally thought I was going to say whoha didn’t you?)
I’d go with Oompa Loompa Orange and call it a day. That way she could also paint pics of Kelly Killmyskin Bensimmon.
Don’t forget-we give away the iPad LIVE on Tuesday night! You could win. Tweet, facebook and blog about us and then let us know-it’ll get your name in the hat. And no, I can’t win. *sigh*
Southern Fried Snark Episode 31
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Southern Fried Snark Episode 15
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