Southern Fried Snark

It would seem little Miss LiHO did not get enough of orange while she was in prison. I don’t know about you but an orange jumpsuit? Would probably cure me of any love for the hue.

But her very FIRST stop after being released from rehab? A spray tan joint. Well, there was a one am maserati drive in there too.

And basically LiHO got out of rehab after 20-odd days, they were predicting 90, because her doctors INSISTED that she didn’t need to be there…and the judge bought it.

Can I just say that whenever my Lifetime Movie Network nightmare comes to fruition and J has me involuntarily committed so he can canoodle our postal lady-I WANT those docs.

If they think LiHO doesn’t need help, there is NOTHING I can possibly due that could ever be more full of the crazy.

So all’s right in the world…LiHO is driving the streets of LA at all hours and she’s back to her normal, orange hue.

I, for one, feel better. The world is a safer place.

Once upon a time Paris Hilton was hired to wear and represent a line of hair extensions. (Now she has her own.)
Apparently Paris was less than loyal to her hair benefactor and strayed to more lavish fake hair products. AND NOW SHE SHALL PAY FOR HER INFIDELITY!!!

Paris was the (allegedly) the spokesperson for Hairtech International’s Dream Catcher hair extension line in 2007. The company is claiming that she was “seen in magazines and on television not wearing [their] hair extensions and was in fact wearing competitors hair extension products.” The company also claims that when Paris was incarcerated in June of 2007 and that she was serving time when she should have been at an important launch party for the extensions.

Hairtech International is accusing Paris of fraud and deceit. They are also claiming a loss of $35 million due to her breach of contract.

Wait. WHAT? 35 MILLION???? They lost 35 million in fake hair sales? Really? WTF dude…I am so in the wrong line of work. I love some fake hair but is it really THAT (and by that I mean that they lost 35 million over Paris) lucrative because I have never even heard of these people or their hair. Are they the people that make Barbie hair…I can see that bringing in the bucks. DAMN YOU COLLEGE DEGREE…I could have made millions selling FAKE HAIR!

Well, I know ALL of you have been holding your own private candlelight vigils in support of Liho as she rots away in jail. Although unless you’re drinking and driving, making out with Sam Ronson, looking like a hot mess and doing some coke, you’re just not properly honoring Lindsay.

But not to worry, you don’t have to start any of those things now. Liho has been sprung from the big house and is heading to…rehab?

She was supposed to have a 24 hour “break” before heading to the rehab facility but since this judge is no dummy, she changed that ruling. Supposedly she will be heading to the same facility used by Britney Spears. I don’t know about you but I don’t really think Brit is the glowing poster child for recommending a rehab center? Just me.

Hopefully, rehab will be an entirely more positive experience in that they will allow poor little Lindsay access to bottled water since her body is too pure for tap water. *snort* I was laughing as I typed that.

But now for the question REALLY weighing on everyone’s mind…will little sister Ali be sporting a brassiere now that her sister’s terrifying 14 day ordeal is over? Will she renew her ban on bras since Liho is essentially going from one lockup to another?

The public deserves answers.