Posts Tagged ‘heidi montag’

The Spedi Quit Chronicles

Tuesday, September 14th, 2010

Oh lord, I took a breather and didn’t read any trashy magazines for a week and missed ALL kinds of Spencer and Heidi news.

I know, I know. It was foolish of me to think that just because they’d filed for divorce we wouldn’t have to deal with them anymore.

But, as you may know, Heidi is having her breast implants removed-proving that perhaps there IS a slight chance she has an almost undetectable bit of common sense floating around somewhere.

Which is fortunate because she keeps “accidentally” popping out of bikini tops-when there happen to be photogs around.

I get it, if I was famous for/had paid that much for something I’d be showing them to everyone also.

ALSO, Spencer got arrested leaving Costa Rica for illegal firearms, possession and something else.

Ummm, did anyone else see Brokedown Palace? Shouldn’t he be rotting in a cell somewhere in a dress and flip flops while bathing in other people’s poo and stuff? I thought guns and drugs in OTHER countries was a really big deal.

Oh wait, I get it. Costa Rica didn’t want to put up with him either. Well played CR, well played.

So most recently they were seen at an Avon Breast Cancer walk-posing for the cameras, I mean uh, raising money for a good cause, by walking together. I think it’s wrong for her to parade her ginormous breasteses in front of people in that situation.

Anybody called Vegas to check the odds on them getting back together, I mean not really having broke up?

On a technical note: We won’t be on the next couple weeks as Gellman is renovating our studio. It will be snazzier which means we will probably look worse and more high definition than ever. I think he’s spent SO much time with the Real Housewives that he’s about to make a porn movie starring Danielle and Lesbian Superstar Lori Do I really need a last name since I preface it with lesbian superstar Michaels?

Anyways, I hope he disinfects our set frequently.

Could Spencer and Heidi be LYING? **shocking news**

Monday, August 23rd, 2010

TMZ is reporting that Heidi and Spencer were together in Costa Rica this weekend. Spencer says he was handing off dogs. I call bullshit on that. Who the hell goes to Costa Rica to relinquish custody of DOGS? No one. Not even Spencer.

Hmmm they are shouting divorce and sex tapes and reality shows. Does anyone else feel like maybe possibly this could be a PR stunt? I would hate to assume the worst and all but come on.

What do you think? Do you think that the sex tape scandal is really a scandal…or is Heidi in on it?
Do you think the divorce is real?
Do you think Heidi’s boobs are real?

Let us know what you think…we care about your opinions.

Twitter is a murderer

Thursday, August 19th, 2010

So it would appear that Heidi’s surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan, was murdered!

No, he was not killed by Heidi’s breasts in an unfortunate lap dancing/smothering situation.

The cause of his demise was…twitter.

Apparently the doctor was driving down the Pacific Coast Highway with his pet Heidi, I mean his border collie, and he was tweeting about how much his dog was enjoying the beautiful day…

I seriously feel kind of bad even talking about this but it’s just so damn ridiculous.

Apparently, tweeting about his dog and her love of pina coladas, driving with the top down and making love in the dunes caused him to lose control of his car and wreck.

He drove off a cliff and while he was killed, sadly, his dog did make it. She was thrown from the car and survived.

It is yet unknown if she ran off into the sunset while singing a chorus of Free at Last.

Heidi is beside herself, I mean, mainly cause the size of her boobs actually causes her to sit BESIDE herself in another seat but she would probably be sobbing…if she could anymore. I don’t think plastic cries.

So, AGAIN. WHY do famous people drive? When I become wealthy, first thing I am getting is a DRIVER. Like Kim G. Except I won’t wear unattractive underwear and dance on stripper poles in front of ex-cons.

And? Did he not watch the movie Seven Pounds? Totally cured me of texting and driving. For reals.

Are your Speidi senses tingling?

Sunday, August 1st, 2010

It’s been so very quiet in the wild, wild world of Spencer and Heidi lately.

Presumably he’s been tied up with his crystals and, well, Heidi has been tied up in a closet under the guard of an ex-marine…or something.

Well, she must have gnawed through the knots and somehow outwitted, I know it’s hard to comprehend, her opponent-I mean husband, Spencer.

Heidi has filed for divorce. She is looking for  a new way to cash in on fame, I mean find true love, and I guess she’s realized crazy-eyed Spencer is not her twue lub.

Anyone else think this is just another publicity stunt and soon they’ll be reconciled cause Heidi is preggers? Let’s hope not. Maybe all the silicone will prevent an egg from implanting?

Southern Fried Snark Episode 24

Friday, April 23rd, 2010

Southern Fried Snark Episode 24
(more…)

Overheard at the watercooler

Monday, April 12th, 2010

Dixie Carter dies at age 70.

Josie Duggar back in the hospital after complications from breast milk fortifiers.

Mario Lopez is addicted to Real Housewives NYC.

Demi Moore and Ashton considering children.

Elizabeth Taylor denying the rumor that she is engaged. (It would be her 9th marriage!)

Heidi Montag – still a fame whore.

Conan in talks with TBS.

Southern Fried Snark Episode 21

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

Southern Fried Snark Episode 21
(more…)

Heidi might have a sense of humor…

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

This actually cracked me up.  I tried to embed the video but it is giving me a hard time… so click on through and check it out.

http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/3pgb

Southern Fried Snark Episode 12

Friday, February 19th, 2010

Southern Fried Snark Episode 12
(more…)

It’s Hard to Be So Vapid in 140 Characters

Monday, January 25th, 2010

I think it’s pretty obvious that we here at Southern Fried Snark are raging Twitterholics.  Ronda and I both have it loaded on our iPhones and we hope that everyone isn’t constantly annoyed that we interject EVERY conversation with “OMG, LISTEN TO WHAT SO AND SO JUST TWEETED!”

Alright, so we know they’re annoyed, but we have to stay CONNECTED, people.

But, ladies and gents, I have found the ultimate Twitter user.

Heidi Montag has a Twitter.

With such gems as “note to anyone who gets a nose job, take off you tape in the shower after it is wet!” and “watch Spencer and I practicing shoot house clearing operations and vehicle extraction at American Defense Enterprises!” (WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!), it’s totally worth a gander.

Then go wash your eyes out with soap.

Recent Snark

Snarky Voice Mail