So it would appear that Heidi’s surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan, was murdered!
No, he was not killed by Heidi’s breasts in an unfortunate lap dancing/smothering situation.
The cause of his demise was…twitter.
Apparently the doctor was driving down the Pacific Coast Highway with his pet Heidi, I mean his border collie, and he was tweeting about how much his dog was enjoying the beautiful day…
I seriously feel kind of bad even talking about this but it’s just so damn ridiculous.
Apparently, tweeting about his dog and her love of pina coladas, driving with the top down and making love in the dunes caused him to lose control of his car and wreck.
He drove off a cliff and while he was killed, sadly, his dog did make it. She was thrown from the car and survived.
It is yet unknown if she ran off into the sunset while singing a chorus of Free at Last.
Heidi is beside herself, I mean, mainly cause the size of her boobs actually causes her to sit BESIDE herself in another seat but she would probably be sobbing…if she could anymore. I don’t think plastic cries.
So, AGAIN. WHY do famous people drive? When I become wealthy, first thing I am getting is a DRIVER. Like Kim G. Except I won’t wear unattractive underwear and dance on stripper poles in front of ex-cons.
And? Did he not watch the movie Seven Pounds? Totally cured me of texting and driving. For reals.
