Southern Fried Snark

Through careful and studied research, Ronda and I have finally experienced what it feels like to be poor, poor Lindsey Lohan.

It means being driven to a questionable hotel where you eat vending machine food for dinner at 1:30 in the morning and observe as a large, burly gay man tries to pick up a drunk Native American biker that can’t seem to work the elevators and is angry because his old lady went to the room without him. He’s also toting around bottles of beer in a plastic bag.

It means pulling little baggies of white powder out of a package that has been given to you. (In our case, it was powder detergent.)

It means staying awake because you have been traveling forever and only getting two hours of sleep because you have another “appearance” coming up shortly.

It means checking out the safety rules your hotel has helpfully left on your bed.

It also means you wash your underwear in a sink, hang it up to dry and then when that fails, you spend 30 minutes attempting to blow dry it.

It means wearing the same leggings and scarf for several days and keeping an extra pair of shoes in your bag.

Okay, I lied. All of those things are what it feels like to be LiHo EXCEPT for the underwear washing. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t worry about that.

You CANNOT miss tonight’s show! We have so much to tell you about our trip to the Big Apple and our adventures at BlogHer! SO MUCH MADNESS!

YAY! Yesterday we traveled and partied and partied and got free stuff and partied some more! We got hugs and airbrush makeup systems and free Starbucks! Today we will attend a couple of sessions and hit the expo hall. Tonight we are going to see Wicked! We will keep you up to date with small posts today. We are about to go to “The State of the Blogosphere” but check back for our swag recap!

Wish you were here!

We are going!  Thank you so much to all of you that wrote to Gellman and helped to plead our case!  We got the final word from Gellman on Sunday that he had gotten us our passes!

As promised, we are going to share the winning letter (and a couple of the others) with you!  Congratulations to our winner – HOPE!

Hope’s winning letter!

Gellman,
I’ve thought long and hard about what to write here. Since y’all don’t want us to write in simply saying that the girls should get to go to BlogHer because they are so very cool (which they are). . .I’ve had to think of other reasons.

Here they are:
1. Apparently, Ronda needs some help with the whole blogging thing. Do you realize that the last time she updated her “A is for Aardvark” blog was OVER A MONTH AGO???!!! Granted, she’s probably been busy with the Snarkivision, and the children, and the house, and the eyebrow waxes, cosmetics shopping, hair highlights, etc. But all that’s just in preparation for BlogHer anyway, right? I wouldn’t know anyway – SHE HASN’T UPDATED HER BLOG!!!

2. Sarah’s never been to New York – and that’s reason enough for her. BUT WAIT!!! I’ve ALSO never been to New York, so you should probably send me as well. In fact . . .I can go long periods without updating my blog too. Thus, I need the help of BlogHer.

3. You’re probably going to send them anyway . . . otherwise this whole e-mail plea campaign would be pretty anti-climatic.

4. You should also send ME for the above reasons as well as for the fact that I could probably use a Ronda/Sarah makeover. And, BlogHer (in NEW YORK) would be the perfect opportunity. My hair, my eyebrows, my make-up, my clothes. . .GAH!! You have NO IDEA!! Wait – would that would mean that they would just snark about me too??? Ah well .  . .

Send them, send me – whatever. Somebody needs to go before those BlogHer people go BROKE.

[Girls. . .I hope this helps!!]

Hope

Amy’s Letter

Gellman/Steve and the Snarkettes

I firmly believe going to BlogHer would be a valuable educational and networking experience for the Snarkettes. It would allow them to learn how to be their best selves, their best brand, and best with business.

They would learn excellent tips for promoting and developing themselves both professionally and personally. Blogher would provide strong tips on how to make SFN a profitable and even more polished experience. Not only would this benefit Southern Fried Snark, it would also greatly aid Sarah as she begins her new career endeavor, having a positive impact on SimpleHelix as well.

Plus, I am planning on going and NYC has the largest Macy’s in the world and it would be nice to have people to prevent me from buying entirely too many things and/or going to Barneys New York, since I had to tell my husband I wouldn’t go there.

Really truly,

Amy