Southern Fried Snark

It seems to me that American Idol may be on it’s last leg. This season there will be no Simon, no Paula, no Kara, no Ellen and no Ricky. (Ricky Minor the music director is also leaving the show.) So that leaves us with Randy (come on dog) and Ryan.

Hmmm…. this does not bode well for the future of Idol. Even if you didn’t care for Simon or Paula personally, they did add entertainment value. I liked Kara fine and from what I saw of Ellen, she seemed to be the voice of the people. I did NOT think they were amazing but they were fine.

Rumors are rampant all of the web about the new judges. The latest I have seen is Randy (who is still under contract), Steven Tyler and JLO. I don’t doubt the qualifications of most of the people I have seen rumored to fill spots and these three are (again) fine BUT it seems that when things start to change this much people get antsy. The public doesn’t seem to care much for change.

I wouldn’t be shocked if AI didn’t weather this storm very well.

I can barely contain my excitement-Project Runway comes back tonight!

I don’t even know if I can FULLY explain how much I adore everything about this show and am excited to see who we all love…and who we all love to hate.

First, the LOVES. Tim Gunn, obviously. I’m totally going to try to stalk him when the Snarkettes take Manhatten next week. I think Ronda will bail me out of jail? Heidi, of course. Despite the fact that sometimes? Her voice bothers the hell out of me. And I also envy her hair and her fantabulous body. Is she the one they call The Body?

I also completely adore Nina Garcia, the faces she makes are priceless and I get so tickled when people think she’s complimenting them and then she stabs them in the heart. I’d like to perfect that.

Michael Kors is hilarious, tied with Tim for my fave. The ways he tells people they suck? A complete art form.

I will say, I am rarely in agreement with their winners. I still think sweet little gay Southern Anthony should have won. I loved his aesthetic of being fashionable but wanting to dress women like ladies. Seth Aaron, eh. I wouldn’t have worn anything he designed.

I also detested Irina AND the “special” dress she created just for the INC line at Macy’s. It was basically a black wrap dress, which I love, but with a dinner-plate sized sparkle butterfly on the side. So not cute and when I saw it? WAY on clearance. Plus, she was a biatch.

So watch tonight and come back here to report your faves, your dis-likes, and of course your pick for winner. Maybe we can make that a contest? Pick your winner by week 2 and if you’re right, there’s a prize? Lemme check with the Team o’ Snark on that.

Rumors are afoot that Mrs. Palin may have gone all Heidi and had her breasts done. Personally I find no scandal in plastic surgery (unless you are all douchey and lie about it) but I know some people have issue with it. Maybe she did…maybe it is the light, or she had a few extra snacks, or maybe she is knocked up again. What do you think?

We now have voicemail!  HOW COOL IS THAT????  256-361-9016

We have set up a Google voice account so that YOU can call in and leave us messages! We will be playing messages on the show and posting some on the site.   YOU could be on SFS!  So call us and let us know what is up!  256-361-9016

See something snarky going down?  CALL US!

Overhear some juicy gossip? CALL US!

Want to ask us a question?  CALL US!!!

Love us?  CALL US!

Hate us? GO JUMP IN A LAKE!

CALL US!!!!  256-361-9016

Last night on our show we gave away an iPad!!! If you missed it…check out episode 36.  There was some total drama!

Using random.org we selected the fabulous SAMANTHA JO CAMPEN.

Here are a few things you might like to know about Sam.

1. She hates celery (but looks great in a celery green scarf)

2. she blogs HERE

3. she tweets HERE

4. She is brow master

5. She is getting a giant hug when we finally meet in person at BlogHer!!

Congratulations Sam!!!  And to the rest of you….bless your hearts!

So the biggest freak out EVER is actually not on-screen this season with the Jersey Housewives.

Although, personally I’m still emotionally scarred from Danielle and the other old “ladies” dancing in a strip bar for a bunch of convicts. Anyone else find this horribly inappropriate? Just me?

ANYHOO-if you’d like to buy a memoir of the Housewives, you can. And no, I’m not talking about bits of Danielle’s scalp/weave though I am shocked they haven’t turned up on ebay yet.

Teresa is having to sell the contents of her house. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE 11 MILLIONDOLLARS IN DEBT. I honestly can’t even fathom how that can happen. The economy must truly be in the toilet if MOBSTERS, ahem entrepreneurs, are even suffering.

What’s up for grabs? Well, Gia is NOT on the auction block. As the most profitable one of the bunch, Mamma T is holding on to her little kiddy super model (blech). But the other 3? Totally up for grabs. I kid, I kind. I think?

Suit of armor? Jet boat? Decorative urn? Pool table? Snow plow? All this and MUCH MORE can be yours on August 29 for the low low price of $19.99 and only $6.95 in shipping and handling fees. Oh wait, I’m getting confused…The Housewives AREN’T an infomercial despite all of them using the show to sell books and “hit” songs. HOW do these biatches have a book deal and I don’t?

So you heard it hear, despite accosting, Danielle “Is Bitch better?” Staub that she and Joe were NOT banrupt, it would seem they, errr…are.

TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT-Someone is getting an iPad. Tune in at 9 pm central on www.southernfriedsnark.com and get your tweets and posts out there while you can!

Dear Angelina and Brad (and various nanny like people),

You are blessed to be one of the most beautiful couples ever.  You have beautiful children in a variety of colors that would make even Crayola jealous.  We understand that children have opinions and want to express themselves.  We embrace that with our own children…but it can be molded.  You can give them choices but you limit those choices.  For example, you could pick out two or three dresses and let Shiloh choose from them.  You could even pick out some pink pants.  What if you bought her a couple of hairbows or barrettes.

We know that androgyny is a popular thing in many cultures but we are pretty sure that culture is not what the preschool set is following.  It is inevitable that someone is going to find out that Shiloh is in fact a GIRL. We would like to suggest you dress HER like one.

Zahara is always dressed super cute…maybe you could hire her to style Shiloh.

Sincerely,

Southern Fried Snark

ps… LOVED Salt

• Eliminates shoulder strap pressure
• Snaps in and moves to where you want it
• adjustable
• cute and cuddly
• Occupies children in car seats

http://www.tiddybearcomfortstrap.com/

So poor little lost LiHo CAN’T get a break…or even a drink. I mean, what is this? Jail? Oh…

It would seem that in jail, you can’t just do whatever you want, whenever you want and all that. Liho is shocked by this.

In jail, there are rules and stuff-which we ALL know our wily little Liho doesn’t like. Hello Carvel card abuse! It would seem that on Mondays, inmates can order food and items from the prison commissary (I didn’t know there was such a thing) and then they pick them up on Tuesdays. Well, Liho didn’t “check in” until Tuesday so those pesky rule-follower jailers are making her wait until next week.

Even for…water. She has been told if she wants water, she may drink from the sink in her room. But it’s like, gnarly and stuff so Liho won’t drink out of it. Ummm…I’m pretty sure our pal Linds has done things MUCH more grosserer than drink out of a prison sink. I mean, I would count putting things in my nose and mouth…and let’s face it, probably anal area, that have already been in other people’s orifices as far more disgusting than putting water from a sink that has probably at least been cleaned once in my mouth.

Honestly? The sink is probably more afraid of catching something from Lindsay.

It would seem that there IS a concession machine but, bless her heart, it’s probably too complicated for her to use.

In other, wow jail sucks and stuff news, she was only allowed ONE visitor this weekend, her lawyer. She used up all allocated visits during the week. As much as she loves Ali, she probably didn’t want to stare at her nips all week and I’m sure her dad coming to beg for cash was a downer too.

Poor Liho-let’s hope she’s at least allowed arts and crafts time-to work on her painting.

iPad giveaway is TUESDAY Night LIVE at 9 CENTRAL on southernfriedsnark.com

A&E is teaming up with Howard Bragman to create a reality special called Coming Out.  The premise of the show is that “celebrities” will come out of their heterosexual closet on reality television.  Hmmm…. ok.

My first question was… “Who the hell is Howard Bragman?”  Apparently Howie is a publicist known for handling the delicate “coming out” of “celebrities” like Chaz Bono.

Which brings me to my second question… “What celebrities?”  Are these going to be A list celebs?  Probably not.  Hopefully they will be at least B or C list…someone we have heard of.

I think the show sounds interesting but only ONLY if they have real celebs.  If they start outing some random cousin of JLO or Bridget the Midget’s nanny, then it will be a giant FAIL.  The other thing I worry about…outing people that will shock no one.  Howie helped out Chaz Bono…um yeah…that was a shocker.  So A&E if you are listening…please don’t F this up!  Thanks, SFS!