So I just finished watching the season premiere of Dancing With the Stars. I actually think they have a good group this season.
Here’s my thoughts:
Audrina P has a crazy awesome body and may not be as utterly stupid as I assumed she was.
Eliza D, otherwise known as Faith, is probably going to resurrect some of her Buffy moves on Cheryl if Cheryl continues to touch E’s man, Rick Fox. She looked a little peeved.
Margaret Cho. I love you, adore you-think you are one of the funniest people ever. I MISS The Cho Show and your haunted vagina and anal bleaching. BUT I wish you would have just danced. Everyone expected you to be funny…and you were. Note to self: when I am famous and on DWTS I am NOT going to go for laughs-sparkles and glamour. Also? Spanx. Or stand up straight and suck in your tummy-your choice.
For a 76 year old women, Carol Brady is pretty built. I’m scared of her partner. He’s creepy tan.
Brandy-you were good, everyone figured you would be. Maks-you are still insanely hot and I want someone to tell me if you’re still dating Erin. I thought ya’ll were adorableness together. You and Erin, not you and Brandy. Though I am pretty fond of Brandy’s sparkle and feather promo dress.
The red head russian pro bothers me. Lots. I hope she goes away.
Corey in the house you were more adorable and less annoying than I expected. Lacey-you should not be allowed to choose your own costumes.
Jennifer Gray-so you’re like 50? God, that makes me feel old. But what happened to your face? You used to be so pretty. I’m sad you changed your nose but your body is rocking and you danced well.
Oh The Hoff-well I think it’s HILARIOUS that he made fun of himself saying how he’s still famous in Germany, I find you the epitome of creepy/dirtyness-and not in a good way. My fave line of the whole show was when Len told you that it’s never too early to panic. And your partner Kim? Bratchild said she looked like a stripper and I think that was a fair statement. (However I was terribly jealous of your volumized bedhead.) I did feel violated after watching the Hoff dance so I can ONLY imagine your pain.
Bristol Palin -you can’t dance but I always thought you were dumpy. And? You’re not-your legs are fantabulous. We all now know how you got Levi.
The Situation-I can’t take the patterns cut into your hair. Or your sheer shirts. Or you opening your mouth. But your 80′s dance moves made me giggle.
Michael Bolton-you may be the first man ever to look worse minus a mullet.
Did you guys notice some of the peeps in the audience? Jamie Lee Curtis, Jon Gosselin, Vera Wang and Evan L-she designs his costumes. Couldn’t figure out why Jamie or Jon were there but I LOVED the look of contempt that Niecey Nash gave the Hoff.
So what are your predictions? Who did you love? Who do you think is leaving?
Who SHOULD Leave: The Hoff. Obviously.
Who WILL Leave: Margaret Cho or the Situation. And as much as I hate to admit it-I think it will end up being the Cho who gets booted.
Also: If I ever end up built like any of the chicks this season-other than Margaret Cho-again I’m sorry, (You know I love you) I’m pretty sure I will wear NOTHING but mini dresses made out of feathers and sparkles.