Southern Fried Snark

So this week…Miley Cyrus is mentoring the American Idol contestants.  I am not NOT saying that she isn’t wonderful and successful but is she really ready to mentor others?  Are we really putting her up there with the likes of Barry Manilow (my lova!), Andrew Lloyd Webber, Dolly Parton, etc…

I have to question what the HELL are they thinking?

http://www.topix.com/entertainment/2010/03/miley-cyrus-mentoring-idol-contestants

Southern Fried Snark Episode 19
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So I saw a banner ad the other day that reminded me that LC (Lauren Conrad of The Hills to those of you with taste in tv) has a new clothing line at Kohl’s.  I went to go check it out because, well, I’m that person.

The first thing that I admired/wondered about her line was that she said she “enjoyed designing for all shapes of women”.  Hm.  Well, LC grew up in the OC, then moved to LA.  I’m not sure how many SHAPES of women there are in those two locales.. judging by what TV has shown us, there is only busty and bustier.. but hey!  Maybe she’s taken a hint from some former stars who promised the same and then never stocked anything over a size 6.

(AHEM, JLO.)

I actually rather love this maxi dress.  Then again, I live in Alabama, so I’m a sucker for any maxi dress.

I love this tee for many reasons.  One, I love to layer.  And this is a GREAT tee for layering.  Two, it would work with a pair of dress capris as well as jeans.  Three, nevermind, I don’t need three, I’m going to buy this anyway.

Same with this tee.  Nautical stripes are HUGE this season, and this is a robust-enough top that it will carry you past the ahoy, matey phase.  Plus, you can wear some great statement necklaces with this (just make sure they’re one color) and I adore that.

While we’re also talking about stars and their clothing lines, I found some of THE CUTEST dresses while dress shopping the other day.

This Jessica Simpson dress is just SO PRECIOUS.  I loved the spring-y look of it and it felt like I was suited up for a garden party.

This LBD by Kristin Davis is so perfect.  It was cut well, hugged curves while slimming.. just perfect.

And, of course, chances are that if you adore a celebrity, they’ve started their own clothing line so that you can show that adoration through cold, hard cash.

(Like, “Sheen Kidz — by Charlie Sheen”?  REALLY?)

(Photos: Kohls, Belk)

Don’t worry, I don’t plan to write a daily journal.  But I thought, you know, maybe starting off each week with a post may not kill you.  Or me.

First of all.. FIVE FRAKKIN’ THIRTY.  And because I’m THAT girl, I actually got up at 4:30.  So that I could have time to wake up, get dressed, have some green tea (G.I. Joe, which is what I’m TOTALLY calling him now, informed us that drinking green or black tea 30 minutes prior to working out makes a huge positive impact on your performance), eat two slices of whole grain toast, and be ready to go.

I was the first one there, and so G.I. Joe and I made small talk as he told me about a session he started where the first day was plagued with locusts.  I laughed, but he REALLY. MEANT. LOCUSTS.  “.. so big they got tangled in your hair..” were his exact words.  We laughed again and I said, “Well, you know, I think each first day should come with some monumental thing to overcome, so after that?  You’re like, Pssh, at least it’s not like the time we were plagued by LOCUSTS or anything.”

Ha.  HAHAHA.

I should mention here that I thought we were getting a free-pass this first day because it was snowing (snOMG!) and so we were warm and cozy inside a local church’s gym.  Warm.  Very warm.  Oh, so nice and warm.

Guess what Sarah doesn’t do well with?

HEAT.

So, about fifteen minutes in to the routine, I have to excuse myself to go vomit.  HOORAY FOR BOOTCAMP.

But I guess the good news is that I probably lost, like, three pounds my first day of  bootcamp!  And it’s not like I was plagued with locusts or anything.

(The rest of the session went very well and Ronda and I definitely have our work cut out for us.  We also hiss at eachother “I HATE JOE SO HARD” through most of the planks.)

P.S. – We actually don’t hate Joe.

Look. I’ll be the first to admit that I love accessories, and I see nothing wrong with wearing a HUGE statement piece necklace with an otherwise simple outfit. I’m that kind of girl.

But when I put together my simple outfit, I don’t often look across my accessories wall (what? you don’t have an entire wall devoted to YOUR accessories?) and think, “Hm. I’m feeling like a cheetah-print tiara headband is REALLY going to complete this look. OOOH, and also? I WON’T BRUSH MY HAIR.”

Then again, you would never catch me in a white strapless dress, either. Clearly I’m not as cool as Brit.

Southern Fried Snark is on formspring.me !!  Ask us what you will!

http://www.formspring.me/sthrnfriedsnark

Police responded to a report of a drunken man making a commotion in the wee hours Wednesday morning in Venice, and soon after, actor Nicholas Brendon, a.k.a. Xander on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” was taken down with a taser. The actor, who according to TMZ sources swung at officers and then ran, is being held on $20,000 bail and facing a felony vandalism charge.

To know me is to know I love all things BtVS.  To know me is to (also) know I love a taser.  I wonder if Nicholas Brendon would let us taser him for the show?

I am a child of the 80′s.  I was President of the Kirk Cameron fan club in 5th grade.  I was equally in love with Corey Haim.  I adored his mischievous smile and how he was always a little bit rebellious in a good boy kind of way in his movies.  I loved that his best friend was Corey Feldman. I saw all the movies.  BUT OMG!  I cannot believe that people are buying his left behind belongs on EBAY!!! I am not even kidding.  His FARKING TOOTHBRUSH is for sale!  AND AND…his family members are the ones selling it!  (It is at $265) (more…)

Gellman? LOVES TOYS.

Sure, most men love toys in the sense of guns and .. lawnmowers .. (?) and stuff, but Gellman LOVES technology. He is the first to get EVERY new toy, often camping out in front of businesses for the launch.

As such? Of course Gellman was on the phone to Apple when the iPads were available for pre-order.

“I got TWO!” he said.

“HOORAY, WE GET IPADS!” we said.

“No, one’s for me.” he said.

“And .. the other one?” we asked, me getting ready to fight Ronda to the death for it.

“We’re giving it away!” he said.

“Okay!” we said.

“.. and you can’t win it.” he said.

SO, LUCKY Y’ALL: YOU have a chance to win the coveted iPad when it’s released in April. We? Will only get to look at it from a distance, and wish it were our very own.

Details to come.. be sure and tune in to win!